The courage to be imperfect
Why are we so afraid of being vulnerable, of being our authentic selves, of allowing ourselves to be seen…deeply seen? What are those parts of ourselves that we are afraid of showing, those chapters of our life story that we never share? The simple truth is that we believe there to be parts of ourselves or parts of our story, that make us unworthy of connection. Parts that we are ashamed of. And isn’t it so ironic that it is fear of disconnection, in other words our shame, that keeps us from truly connecting! It is the belief that there is something about me or my life story that makes me less worthy of love and belonging, that keeps me from feeling connected. Reality is for true connection to be experienced, in other words for me to feel that I’m loved and that I belong, I have to overcome the fear of showing my authentic self to others. I have to allow myself to be truly seen. I have to stop numbing vulnerability, and start embracing it! Seeing it as the source from where all connection originates. Simply put, if I don’t allow myself to be vulnerable, always trying to predict and control ( to make the uncertain certain), never sharing my true self, never saying “I love you” first, never fully investing in any relationships – because of inherently believing that I’m not worthy – I also numb my ability to feel joy, love, gratitude, purpose, meaning and connection. Experiencing connection, which is the inherent belief / knowingness of being loved and of belonging, requires the courage to be imperfect, the courage to show up just as we are. When experiencing true connection we find beauty in our vulnerability and become aware of the treasures hidden within our most difficult life experiences. Watch out for the next entry on my blog where I will be covering : How do I develop the courage to be imperfect? How do I allow myself to be vulnerable?